Taming Envy
His name is Mr. Grinch—incurably green with envy, that unlovable Dr. Seuss character who cannot bear the sight of someone enjoying himself. When that happens, he bites himself.
Envy is a sin of the emotions. According to the dictionary it is “a feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by a desire for the possessions or qualities of another.” Envious folks say to themselves, “I want what you have— your talent, your good looks, your job, your wealth, your church, your husband, your wife, your life.” They are upset when something good happens to the one they envy and happy when something bad happens to him.
First Corinthians 13, the love chapter, says “charity envieth not” (v. 4). Love doesn’t boil or seethe, but envy leads to evil, “steamed-up” actions. Cain’s envy of his brother Abel turned to bitterness and “Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him” (Gen. 4:8). In Acts 17 the Jews were envious of Paul and Silas. They got all steamed up, assaulted the house of Jason, and threw the preachers out of Thessalonica (Acts 17:5).
Unlike gluttony or evil speaking, envy is an invisible sin. Scottish preacher Andrew Bonar wrote, “This day twenty years ago I preached for the first time as an ordained minister. It is amazing that the Lord has spared me and used me at all. Envy is my hurt, and today I have been seeking grace to rejoice exceedingly over the usefulness of others, even when it casts me into the shade. Lord, take away this envy from me!”
Envy is also a subtle sin. Some years ago when I preached at a Christian high school, a teacher approached me after a service and confessed, “I sure spend a lot of time criticizing a certain teacher. Tonight I see my problem. It is envy.”
The fable is told of a demon who found a Christian hermit in the desert. The demon tempted him to sin with greed, lust, doubt, and fear. Nothing worked. Then the devil himself stepped in and whispered to the hermit, “Did you hear this news? Your brother has been made the bishop of Alexandria.” Immediately, a scowl of envy appeared on the Christian’s face.
This invisible, subtle attitude of envy is the mother of other sins; it is a common sin; but it is a sin that can be managed.
Envy Is the Mother of Other Sins
Envy gives birth to compromise, lying, disrespect, gossip, and slander. Envious folks often question God. If not curbed, envy can produce irrational behavior, rage, even murder.
Jacob, father of twelve sons, “loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours” (Gen. 37:3). Joseph then had dreams indicating that his brother and others would eventually bow down to him. Enraged by envy, his brothers almost killed him, but instead they sold him as a slave to the Midianites (Gen. 37:28). Next they killed a goat, put the blood on Joseph’s coat, and lied to Jacob about Joseph’s death.
In 1 Kings 21, King Ahab looked with envy on Naboth’s fruitful vineyard, next to the king’s palace. Ahab asked Naboth to sell it to him, but Naboth refused. King Ahab went home, “laid him down upon his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no bread” (v. 4). “Naboth won’t sell me his vineyard,” whined the great King Ahab, “so I’ll just go to bed, sneer at the wall, and refuse to eat my lunch!” Envy turned the king into a pouting child. In the Book of Esther Haman was promoted to second in the kingdom and invited to attend the queen’s banquet. But eaten up with envy, he said, “Yet all this availeth me nothing, so long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king’s gate” (Esther 5:13). Envy soon brought Haman to hang on his own gallows.
King Saul was upset when the women praised David by comparing him to Saul—”Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands” (1 Sam. 18:7). Fueled by envy, Saul chased David around the country and tried to kill him. Saul’s envy eventually led to his own death. Someone said, “Envy shoots at another and wounds himself.” Envy always hurts the envious one.
Envy causes you to question God. Like covetousness, envy says, “God, why didn’t You make me smart like him, or talented like her? Why does she resemble Sleeping Beauty and I the Wicked Witch of the West? Why am I so tall, or short, or shy? God, why did You make such a mess when you created me?”
The fable is told of the little snail who envied the lobster with his big beautiful shell. “What a grand palace he carries on his back,” said the snail. “If I lived there, my friends would be so impressed!” The lobster shed his shell to grow a larger one, and the animals and birds watched as the little snail crawled into the empty shell of the lobster. The air was very cold in his new grand palace, and that night he died. The wise old crow observed the sad scene and said, “See, that’s what envy does. What you have is enough. Be yourself and save yourself from a lot of trouble. How much better to be a little snail in a comfortable shell than to be a little snail in a big shell and freeze to death.”
Envy Is a Common Sin
In the workplace you may envy someone who has more skill than you. She may be faster at the computer keyboard or more effective with customer communication. Do you rejoice when she makes a mistake? That is envy. What about the guy who was given the position you wanted? Do you secretly hope he fails?
Envy is common in the home. Husbands and wives envy each other’s personalities, intelligence, or even knowledge of the Bible. Dads often envy new babies who steal Mom’s time and attention. Brothers and sisters envy each other’s ability to learn, skill in sports, or popularity. Culturecontrolled teens envy friends whose parents provide all their wants without restrictions.
Sad to say, envy is alive and well in the church. The following sentiments are commonly found in the minds of church members:
“She gets more attention than I do.”
“More people talk to her than to me.”
“Why aren’t my children like hers?”
“I wish I had his spiritual gifts.”
“If only I had his job, his car … or his wife.”
“He has it made. He never has any trials.”
It is Sunday morning. Rushing off to church, you may see your neighbor sitting in his front-porch rocker, sipping iced tea, reading the newspaper. Like Mr. Grinch, do you want to bite yourself? Proverbs 23:17 says, “Let not thine heart envy sinners, but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long.”
Envy Can Be Managed
Though you will fight this sin until death, envy can be managed. First, admit that envy is a rotten sin. Envy eventually led to the crucifixion of Christ. Pilate said the Sanhedrin’s motive for delivering Jesus was envy (Matt. 27:18; Mark 15:10). Also, a heart that continues to be full of envy may reveal that one is without the Savior (Gal. 5:19–21). Envy is a serious offense.
Second, pray for those whom you envy. This may soften your heart toward them. When F. B . Meyer held meetings in Northfield, Massachusetts, large crowds thronged to hear him. Then the great British Bible teacher G. C ampbell Morgan came to Northfield. Soon people were flocking to hear his brilliant expositions of Scripture instead. Meyer confessed at first he was envious. He said, “The only way I can conquer my feelings is to pray for Morgan daily, which I do.”
Third, look for good in the one you envy. Work to encourage and praise him for his positive contributions to the kingdom of God. Someone noted that the man who keeps busy helping those below him won’t have time to envy the man above him … and there may not be anyone above him anyway.
Fourth, accept yourself as God made you. Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of your own uniqueness and self-worth. Do really believe that God is only good? Psalm 139:14–16 says that God created you with all the intelligence and ability you need to do His will. Be grateful that His works are perfect.
Finally, envy the right things. Paul exhorts you to “covet earnestly the best gifts” (1 Cor. 12:31). Covet holiness, righteousness, godliness, and practical spiritual gifts that will most benefit the church and the kingdom of God.
Pause and thank God for who He is and all that He has graciously given to you. Be grateful that you are divinely equipped to do whatever He calls you to do (1 Thess. 5:24). Say no to envy.
Dr. Dave Barba and his wife, Claudia, plant churches in the United States through Press On! Ministries (http://www.ipresson.com).
(Originally published in FrontLine • November/December 2010. Click here to subscribe to the magazine.)
Photo by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash