Cultivating Secure Personal Intimate Relationships with God
What kind of relationship to you have with God? Would you describe it as “personal and involved”? Would you describe it as “intellectual but distant”? How about “casual acquaintance”? There could be many other descriptors. Everyone has some kind of relationship with God; but not everyone has a good relationship with God.
In a recent article at Christianity Today, Rebecca Randall interviewed Blake Victor Kent, a former pastor now at Harvard Medical School “doing postdoctoral research on religion and health.” Kent and Christopher Pieper published a study based on a 2010 Baylor Religion Survey. They sought to analyze how Christians described their relationship to God in comparison to their view of the Bible. Before going further, I should note that the interview touches on an approach to sociology and psychology that I don’t support. The model touted seems to be an “integrationist” approach that attempts the combination of secular ideas with Christian ones. In addition, of course, I have philosophical and theological differences with Christianity Today.
Two interesting things come out of the study (as represented in the interview). First is the notion that one’s view of the Bible is a predictor of the kind of relationship you have with God. The study defined three views of the Bible: skeptical, interpretive, and literal. (These are broad categories.) Those who report a “secure, personal, intimate relationship with God” are more likely to be literalists. The second interesting thing is that more women than men report a close relationship with God. This last is probably not surprising to anyone who looks out at the average congregation.
The article goes on to discuss some of the reasons the study authors think this is so. This is where their theories diverge increasingly from mine, so I’ll leave their work and note a few thoughts of my own. I am not trying to answer why more women have a closer walk with God than men, but rather what should we do to encourage people to have a truly close walk with God.
It stands to reason that those who believe God is real, that God has spoken in the Bible, that God holds men accountable to him, that God redeems men from sin through Jesus Christ, that God provides the Holy Spirit to enable the Christian life, and that Jesus is coming again for his saints will want to walk closely with God. If you are skeptical in any way about the message of the Bible, your relationship with God will most likely diminish (or be based on some false notion of who God is and what a relationship with him is). Someone who thinks that what the Bible says is dependent on human interpretation is more likely going to have an “interpreted” or “nuanced” relationship with God.
How do we encourage a close relationship with God in others (especially in those we are trying to disciple)?
1. The personal commitment of the discipler
If we want to help someone else have a close walk with God, we need to have a close walk with God ourselves. This should be obvious, but there is no substitute for Christian leadership than a vital personal relationship with God. You won’t develop that relationship without regular devotional habits, but merely having regular devotional habits is no guarantee of a personal relationship. Your approach to God needs to personal, not legal. You aren’t “punching a time-clock” or tallying up spiritual “credits” with God. You actually believe the Bible is God’s primary means of communicating verbally with you and you respond back to God in believing prayer and loving, dependent, obedience.
2. Enthusiastic Bible teaching
The root of the word “enthusiasm” is the preposition “in” and “theos” (the Greek word for God). To be enthused is to be filled with the spirit of something, in this case, the Bible. In order to communicate the Bible “literally,” we need to be able to help those we teach to see that it is a book full of real life experience and instruction of believing people while also connecting those ancient stories and precepts to present day life. Fostering this kind of love for God’s word will become a major building block in the personal relationship with God you want to instill in others. Even the “dryer” parts of the Bible have the finger-prints of the living God on them. There is profit in the long list of names in Chronicles. There is delight to discover in the lengthy lists of laws in Leviticus. Beyond that, of course, are many other easier passages that stir the soul. We will build personal relationships with God by building a living relationship with the Bible.
3. Authentic Christian relationships
There is no formula for this. You can’t build interpersonal relationships in a church by imposing them on the body. I recall in the early days of “small groups” when it was the new, cool thing to do, I experienced something like that. It was decided that our church (a fairly large one we were involved in at the time) would start up small groups. The members of Sunday school classes were assigned to various groups, certain ones were appointed leaders, and we were to go out and build one another up. I think some of the groups worked out all right, but for the most part I think that effort wasn’t successful.
What is more successful is simply cultivating genuine interpersonal relationships. You might not be a “people person” but you are called to “love the brotherhood.” So love them. Have friends over. Make new friends of visitors and have them over. Get involved in the lives of others, especially those in your church family. When you hear someone is working on a project, offer to help. When someone is sick, visit. In the context of your church relationships, build Christian relationships. Let your light shine. If you are walking with God, you can help someone else walk with God by loving them. The Lord will use you as a conduit of his love, and build up a relationship with them as well.
We could say more, I am sure. I don’t mean to suggest that I am an expert at this! However, the observations in the article I mentioned suggested something about the Christian experience we have in our church. Yes, we need more people to have living personal relationships with God. We need more men to have living personal relationships with God. I don’t know of any other way to cultivate these relationships than living them out in personal relationships with your fellow believers.
Don Johnson is the pastor of Grace Baptist Church of Victoria, Victoria, BC, Canada.