Humble Persistence in Prayer

How should we approach God in prayer? Few things are as important for Christians as knowing what makes for effective prayer. After all, prayer connects us to our Creator by giving us the opportunity to make our thoughts, hopes, and sorrows known to Him. That’s not something you want to get wrong! Fortunately, God did not leave us in the dark to stumble around, trying to figure out how to pray well on our own. In His Word we find lots of instruction on prayer, through examples of prayer and teaching on prayer. I want to zero in on one of those examples, which I think gives us a powerful pattern for what prayer should look like. I want to briefly explore the story of the Canaanite woman in the gospel of Matthew.

This account is relatively short, so I’ll quote the entirety of it here:

21 And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon.” 23 But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying out after us.” 24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25 But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” 26 And he answered, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” 27 She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” 28 Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.

Matthew 15:21-28

Here we see a somewhat unsettling story. It begins with Jesus ignoring someone in need of help. Then the disciples ask Jesus to get rid of this poor woman looking for Him to heal her daughter. To our surprise, Jesus does just that and essentially tells her that He won’t help her because she’s not an Israelite. She insists and so Jesus doubles down using a somewhat offensive illustration in which He calls her a dog. This woman persists even after being told “No” by the God-Man and after His insulting example. As a reward she is given what she asked for.

This simple story raises perplexing questions. Why did Jesus tell her “No” only to cave and later tell her “Yes”? Why does she keep asking, and why is her “insubordination” rewarded? And what does all of this mean for us in our prayer lives? As we look at this prayer, there are two things that set it apart as worthy of imitation. First, it is a persistent prayer. Second, it is a humble prayer. Let’s take a moment to consider each of these ideas in turn.

First, it is a persistent prayer. This bothered me at first because, after all, this woman was told “No” by Jesus but refuses to accept His answer. We might think this is rude or belligerent. Why keep asking after God has said “No”? Apparently, Jesus wanted her to keep asking. In fact, the reason He said no initially was likely to prove her faith. Throughout the life of Christ, we consistently see the Jewish people misunderstand, reject, or disbelieve Jesus. Often it’s His own disciples. Yet here we see a faith that holds on and doesn’t let go.

God isn’t offended by persistence in prayer. He’s honored by it. He sees a believer pouring their heart out in prayer as a testimony to faith that He is who He says He is and can do what He claims He can do. God is fine with us being desperate, so long as we are desperate for Him. Jacob was desperate and wouldn’t let God go until he was blessed. Moses was desperate and refused to lead Israel if God would not go up with them. David was desperate in the Psalms, and Paul was desperate in his prayers for the churches. God is honored and pleased by persistence in prayer, from Abraham all the way to the prayers of the Lord Himself.

None of this means we twist God into doing something He knows isn’t best. Jesus prayed desperately that the cup be removed, but He submitted to God’s will. Paul prayed three times that the thorn would be removed, but it wasn’t. God knows what is best and will not be overruled, but Scripture reminds us that the effective prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much. Like the widow seeking justice in Jesus’ parable, we should keep asking God and keep asking God. Such persistence is not an insult or an annoyance to Him, it’s a delight.

But the attitude of this persistence matters as well. Israel was persistent in the wilderness. They were quite persistent, even demanding. Yet God described them as putting Him to the test, and the entire generation was wiped out in the wilderness. So how was their demanding different from this woman’s persistence? Notice what she said when Jesus insulted her by comparing her to a dog: “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.”

This woman was willing to take a place of humility. She wasn’t arrogant or proud. We don’t hear her demand she be treated better or question the Lord. She humbly accepts the rough remark about her foreign status, owns it, and pleads for mercy all the same. She is persistent, but she is humble. Israel in the desert was, on the other hand, quite belligerent. They were arrogant, expecting more of God and coming to Him with accusations rather than pleas for mercy.

It’s easy to lose one or the other. To be humble in such a way that we never ask anything big of God. I don’t think God wants that. I think He wants a little holy desperation. He wants us to ask for big things and persist in asking. But it’s also easy to become so persistent that we rather our boldness before the throne of grace becomes arrogant pride. And so I come back to this story on occasion to remind myself of what prayer should look like. To watch in wonder as a pagan woman, someone the disciples ask Jesus to get rid of, shows all of us what true, humble, persistent prayer should look like.

 

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Ben Hicks is the Associate Pastor at Colonial Hills Baptist Church in Indianapolis. This article originally appeared on his Substack.

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Photo by Samuel Martins on Unsplash