Raising Godly Men in a Weak Culture

Our society has comprehensively rejected God’s design for the family. The decline is striking when we compare the words of two influential figures separated by just 69 years. In 1851, Alexis de Tocqueville, the French political thinker who observed early American life, remarked: “There is certainly no country in the world where the tie of marriage is more respected than in America or where conjugal happiness is more highly or worthily appreciated.

But less than seven decades later, Margaret Sanger — the founder of Planned Parenthood — gave voice to a radically different vision. Writing in 1920, she declared that woman’s acceptance of her role in marriage and motherhood was the foundation of “the tyrannies of the earth.” To her, the bearing and raising of children was not a blessing but a curse — something that perpetuated oppression.

How the mighty had fallen. From celebrating marriage as honorable to scorning the very foundation of family life, the shift was already well underway.

The rejection of God’s design for marriage has only accelerated. Today, gender roles and the distinctions of gender — a clear biblical teaching — is not only rejected in our culture, but even within many churches it is treated with suspicion or outright hostility.

Daniel Doriani, in Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood, explains: “For over 18 centuries the church was confident that it understood biblical texts central to the Christian concept of marriage and gender relations. The Church’s leaders — pastors, theologians, and exegetes — held that Ephesians 5, for example, taught mutuality in service within the structure given by the leadership of a husband and father.”

For centuries the church held these truths without question. But with the rise of feminism in the 1800s, the consensus began to unravel. Soon, cultural questions were imported into biblical interpretation, and alternative readings of passages like Ephesians 5 became commonplace.

The results are visible everywhere:

• Divorce rates among Christians are nearly indistinguishable from those outside the church.
• Reports of abuse within so-called “Christian homes” shock even the secular world.
• Mainline denominations have appointed leaders openly rejecting biblical morality.
• Some pastors today even preach in favor of things like abortion and homosexuality.

This drift shows us a sobering reality: once Scripture is reinterpreted to fit cultural trends, the implications ripple into every area of life. Redefine the roles of men and women, and soon the very definition of marriage itself is up for grabs.

At our church, we believe this is a problem that must be addressed head-on. That’s why we started a ministry called Band of Brothers — a ministry for men designed to challenge the cultural norms that have perpetuated weakness and to call men back to what God intended.

Why This Matters

Many men today feel unequipped to lead in their homes, marriages, and communities. Society often tells men that strength means dominance, that spiritual growth is optional, or that fatherhood and leadership are secondary. But Scripture calls men to something far greater:

• Integrity: Living in a way that honors God in every area of life.
• Courage: Standing firm in faith and character, even when it’s countercultural.
• Love: Leading and serving families with a Christlike heart, not out of obligation or control.
• Faithfulness: Investing consistently in marriage, parenting, and church life.

This is the kind of man God calls us to be — a man who impacts his home, community, and church for generations.

What Our Men’s Ministry Does

Band of Brothers exists to equip men to be men of God in a world that often tells them otherwise. Through study, accountability, and encouragement, men learn to:

• Live with courage, integrity, and godly purpose.
• Lead their homes and families with sacrificial love.
• Support one another as brothers in Christ, holding each other accountable in the ways that matter most.
• Resist cultural pressures that encourage laziness, passivity, or compromise.

When men rise to this calling, the impact is profound. Marriages flourish, children thrive in faith, and churches are strengthened.

What about you?

No two churches are the same, but people are the same everywhere. If you are a man seeking to grow in faith, character, and purpose, seek out ways to join with others in your church to grow spiritually, whether through a group ministry like Band of Brothers or in one-on-one discipleship. Together, you can examine what it means to live as a man of God today, build relationships that challenge and encourage you, and learn to lead your home, family, and community in ways that honor God.

We encourage all Christian men everywhere to intentionally seek spiritual growth and leadership skills within their local churches.

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Caleb Phelps is the pastor of Faith Baptist Church. This article first appeared in the Echoes of Faith newsletter. We republish it here with permission.

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Photo by Malachi Cowie on Unsplash