Dads, Take Your Family on Family Vacation

Last year our church had a father and son breakfast the Saturday before Father’s Day. We brought in a speaker from a nearby church, and he said something that really struck me. He mentioned that his church had recently given all of their high school grads a chance to share their favorite memory from their high school years. He then told us that, almost without exception, they all mentioned a family trip that they had taken. 

I was reminded of this because we are about to go on our family vacation of the year. I’ll be speaking at a friend’s church, doing a conference for adults while the church runs VBS for the kids, and we’re making a family trip out of it. We’ll head down a little early and then make some stops on the way back. My parents and all my siblings are going to be joining us down there for the 4th and the beginning of the VBS week. We recently told our kids, and they have been super excited about it. They have started chattering and asking about it, and my son was praying before a meal and said, “Dear God, Thank you for this food and that we can go on family vacation.”

I shouldn’t be surprised, because I can remember being a kid and feeling the excitement of going on family vacation. Our family didn’t have a ton of money while I was growing up, but we always went on family vacation. It was important to my parents, and I have so many fond memories of weeks spent tent camping, going to Niagara Falls, and doing weekend trips to Hershey Park. To this day my family remains close, and I think at least part of that is the investment my parents made in doing an annual vacation. My dad took the task of planning vacation very seriously, and my mom bravely trooped along with him with four kids in tow. 

I mention all this to say to the dads out there, if you do not have the habit of doing some kind of special trip in the year, let me encourage you to do so. Obviously I’m not saying that you have to, and this is simply my opinion, but I do think you are missing out if you don’t take your family on family vacation.

 

Why Not Do It?

Well, there are reasons why not, so let’s talk about them. Going on vacation can be costly. It will cost some money, of course, but it’s not just money. It’s the time off work that you are now sacrificing for the good of your family rather than doing what you would want to do, whether reading, fishing, or doing house projects. It’s adding another thing to an often already packed calendar. It’s the mental stress of figuring out what you will do, executing the plan, getting back from all of it feeling like you need a vacation, and then going back to a job where you might now feel slightly behind. In other words, going on vacation can be a hassle and an inconvenience. 

All of this might be true, but there is a cost to not going on vacations as well. The cost is less tangible, and it’s less immediate, so it’s easy to ignore. But special, focused time with family has a way of solidifying and gelling a family. I’ve seen it first hand, and I’ve heard countless testimonies to that effect. And you might need that gel when the tough times hit, and they will likely hit. So you probably won’t feel the effects today of choosing not to go on family vacation, but you might be feeling it in a decade when you wish you had a deeper relationship with that child wrestling with whether they will submit to God or go their own way. Either way, there will be a cost. 

 

A Biblical Case for Family Vacation

I believe that family vacations have biblical warrant. I want to be careful as I try to make this case. I carefully chose the words “biblical warrant,” and by that I am saying that you could make the case (and I am) that the Bible would seem to suggest they are a good idea. I am not saying that if you don’t take your family on vacation, you have violated Scripture and are disobedient. There is no command, “Thou shalt take thy family on an annual vacation.” I do think, however, that there are certain biblical principles which highly suggest it is a wise thing for dads (and moms) to go on family vacations.

First, God built family vacations into ancient Israel’s calendar. Of course, they weren’t called family vacations, but that is essentially what they were. Ancient Israelites were expected to go to Jerusalem three times a year for the feasts of Passover, Weeks (Pentecost), and Tabernacles. Tabernacles in particular involved building small booths and sleeping in them. As I’ve heard my senior pastor point out, imagine how much fun that would have been as an 8 year old. In Luke 2, Jesus and His family went to Jerusalem, and when Jesus stayed behind no one noticed He was missing until the third day of their return journey. That meant that mom and dad either expected He was with the other parent, or that He was with a cousin, a neighbor, or someone else on the journey. Reading between the lines, I think that trips to and from Jerusalem were probably a lot of fun if you were a kid. I can see a little Jewish boy praying and thanking God that they got to go to Jerusalem later in the week.

But there is another biblical statement that makes me think family vacations are worth the effort. In Proverbs 23:26 Solomon states, “My son, give me your heart.” The fact that Solomon had to ask this in the first place shows that for a parent to receive the heart of their child is not a given. Sons (and daughters) don’t always give their heart to their father (or mother). In fact, the very end of the Old Testament predicts a time when Elijah will come and turn the hearts of the children to the fathers and the fathers to the children (Malachi 4:5-6).

Now, I can’t claim that taking your children on family vacation will guarantee that they give you their heart, or that if you don’t take them on vacation, you won’t receive their heart. But if God hardwired fun trips into Israel’s calendar, and if children really do look with great fondness on family vacations, then why would we give up this opportunity? Children are willing to give us their hearts when they know that we truly care. And few things communicate a focus on the family like spending gobs of special time focusing on the family. 

 

Practical Tips

Maybe this all makes sense, but the idea of going on family vacation sounds daunting. Family vacations don’t have to be elaborate, and they might be more doable than you think. Here are a couple of thoughts that can make the family trips more doable if this is something you are considering starting. 

 

Don’t be afraid to take weekend trips

If you are tentatively putting your toes in the pool of family vacations for the first time, a weekend trip or a three day trip at the end of the week can be a big help in easing in. Last year my wife and I left on Thursday to spend the weekend down south with my brother, then visited a few churches that I had been a part of in college, and then went to a camp reunion before coming home. Another year we went down a few days early for my brother’s graduation and spent some time with family while staying in a hotel. Given the young ages of our children, this has made the most sense. This year we will be gone for a little over a week, but some of that time will be focused on ministry and some of it will be with extended family. A short trip can be just as impactful and memorable as a long trip. 

 

You don’t have to break the bank

While getting out of town is fun, you don’t have to go somewhere expensive and exotic like Disneyland for vacations to count. While I was growing up, we frequently went camping. Buying all the camping gear and renting a few nights at a campground is probably roughly similar to getting a hotel stay, and then every year after that you have the equipment and save a lot of money. Bring your own food rather than eating out. Scour the internet for deals (there are lots of them there, or so frugal people tell me). The point is not to spend a lot of money on your family, but to spend a lot of time with your family. 

 

Don’t be afraid to meet extended family

At this point, most of our family trips have been meeting with extended family. That’s not been the case every time, and we look forward to time with our family as well. But we have visited siblings and parents, for short trips or for weeks. Doing this can sometimes make costs more affordable, and for kids can make the trip more eventful and fun. Sleepovers with cousins are the best, and for the kids don’t detract from the magical label of “vacation.” 

 

Plan it or it likely won’t happen

Every year, we put a monthly savings category in our budget for family vacation. Fortunately for us, we have been able to utilize ministry opportunities and leverage them into family opportunities (if you’re in ministry and can swing, let me encourage you to do the same). But family vacations will rarely just happen. They might for some people, but this post isn’t for those people. It’s for those of us who benefit from the reminder of the importance of family vacations, and in our laziness might just let them slide if we aren’t thoughtful and intentional. 

 

I have young kids right now, ages 6, 5, 3, and a baby. I pray that we have many good vacations over the years, and I pray that these trips are wonderful bonding times for the whole family. I pray that we have a blast, and that we come back more unified as a family than ever. But most of all I pray that through these trips my kids will realize in a practical, tangible way that mom and dad really do love them and want what’s best for them. And I pray that perhaps, someday, the vacations we take as a family will encourage a child, or two, or four, to know that they can safely give me their heart.

 

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Ben Hicks is the Associate Pastor at Colonial Hills Baptist Church in Indianapolis. This article originally appeared on his Substack.

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Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash