Triggered: How to Overcome Destructive Obsessions

An exploration of how to handle those moments when life pushes your buttons

In our journey through life, we all experience moments when something sets us off — when an event or interaction triggers us into anger, depression, or destructive behavior patterns that we know aren’t God’s will for our lives. These triggering events can create compulsions or obsessions in our minds, driving us toward actions we cannot stop in our own power.

The Biblical Psychology of Triggers

The Bible, in its purest sense, is the best psychology book in the world. The word “psychology” comes from “psyche” (soul) and “logia” (study of), making the Bible truly the ultimate study of the soul. The stories of David provide particularly intense studies about our being and soul.

Consider the story of David, Abigail, and Nabal the fool — a powerful illustration of being triggered and overcoming destructive obsessions. Shortly after David nobly refused to take revenge on King Saul, he faced a situation with Nabal that triggered him into a murderous rage. This demonstrates how life works: we can endure certain significant challenges without being triggered, yet something seemingly small can suddenly set us off.

How Obsessive Desires Take Over

1. We let our guard down after victory

David had just won a great victory in not taking revenge against Saul. Perhaps he was exalting in this spiritual triumph, patting himself on the back for being a “good Christian.” But just because we’re in the Spirit dealing with one situation doesn’t mean we’ll automatically stay in the Spirit for the next challenge. We need God’s grace every moment of every day.

2. We face unmet expectations

David and his men had been providing security for Nabal’s shepherds and his 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats. They protected them from Philistines, lions, and bears, serving as a “wall by night and day.” When sheep-shearing time came — traditionally a season of celebration and feasting — David expected Nabal would honor his request for food. When Nabal refused, David was triggered.

So much in life is about expectation. When our expectations aren’t met, we can be destroyed. That’s why we must always put our expectations in the Lord.

3. We experience disrespect

Nabal didn’t just refuse David — he disrespected him, saying “Who is David? Who is the son of Jesse?” He essentially mocked David as a rebellious servant who had broken away from his master. Nabal’s selfish attitude — repeatedly using “I,” “my,” and “mine” — resembled the rich fool Jesus described in Luke 12.

People will disappoint us in life. Spouses, bosses, coworkers, fellow church members — we’re all flawed and we all fail each other. If you’re in any church long enough, you’ll be disappointed by someone. The key is dealing with these disappointments in a loving, godly, humble, and meek spirit.

4. We react in fear

With the prophet Samuel dead, David may have feared his path to kingship was threatened. He also constantly worried about finding food for his 600 soldiers in the wilderness. Fear reactions can trigger us — but thank God we have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.

How to Overcome Destructive Obsessions

In the biblical account, God raised up Abigail — Nabal’s wise wife — to intervene. Her approach gives us four principles for overcoming our own destructive obsessions:

1. Remember who you are

Abigail reminded David of his identity: “The Lor          d will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord fights the battles of the Lord, and evil has not been found in you all your days.” When strange, obsessive thoughts push us toward actions that displease God, we must remember who we are as children of God. If we act out our sin, we behave like the worst people of this world.

2. Remember whose you are

Abigail told David his soul was “bound in the bundle of life with the Lord.” Just as we protect our wallet or purse — our “bundle of life” containing personal belongings — God protects us as His precious possessions. If you’re saved, your name is written on His hand, as the prophet Isaiah tells us.

3. Value a clear conscience

Abigail essentially told David that if he refrained from killing Nabal, he would have no grief or offense in his heart. The actions we commit today, we must carry in our conscience tomorrow. How wonderful it is to have a spirit that’s free!

4. Remain teachable to change

Despite his vow to kill Nabal, David listened to Abigail’s counsel. When we have obsessive ideas and thoughts, we should seek counsel and speak to somebody before acting. God can change anybody — the drunkard, the adulterer, the confused young person. But we must have teachable spirits and humble hearts to accept God’s Word.

The Power of Christ’s Example

Jesus Christ — who never needed to change because He was perfect — could have easily been triggered by all the hatred and violence poured upon Him. Yet when cursed, He did not curse back. When spat upon, He did not retaliate. When beaten, He did not raise His fists.

As believers, we have this same Spirit of Christ within us. Though we often stray like sheep, we can change by God’s grace and return to the Shepherd of our souls. Perhaps you carry obsessive thoughts of revenge — drop your sword and look to Jesus, who bore your sins and the sins of those who hurt you on the cross.

Let the wounds of Jesus heal you. Let His blood cleanse your conscience. Let God’s Word fill you as you’re transformed into His image — becoming more kind, patient, and forgiving — guided by His Spirit rather than by our obsessions.

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Matt Recker is the pastor of Heritage Baptist Church in New York City. This article reproduces a sermon preached on March 16, 2025, which you can listen to here. We used Claude.AI to turn the transcript into the article. Pastor Recker has reviewed and approved the final form of this article.

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