What If You Were the Older Brother?

Too often we read the Bible as though we would have been the hero in every story. God knows this, and so He gives us deeply flawed heroes. When Moses disobeys or Abraham lies or Noah gets drunk or David commits both adultery and murder, or another good king becomes arrogant and rebels against God’s representative, we begin to realize that we all have problems and God is the real hero of the Bible. But still, in some stories I fear we might miss what God is seeking to teach us because we write off the villain too quickly. “Oh, he’s the bad guy,” we recognize. “I’m the good guy, so that’s not talking about me.” 

Take for example the Pharisees. Most people read the gospel stories, hear how bad the Pharisees are, and think to themselves, “Glad I’m team Jesus and not team Pharisee!” But would we really have been team Jesus? I want to dive into one of Jesus’ parables that was directed at the Pharisees, and I want us to do our best to sympathize with the villain. Not because the villain in this story is right, but because I think we have a lot more of the villain in us than we would like to admit. In this article, I want to sympathize with the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son, who was meant to portray the Pharisees and their hard hearts.

A quick note before we get started, this post will be an experiment in “sanctified imagination.” Obviously, many of the details here are developed beyond what we find in Scripture. The goal is not to replace what the Bible says, but to help us “feel” a very familiar story from a fresh perspective. 

 

Walking in the Sandals of the Older Brother

Let’s start before the parable begins, when both of these sons are coming into adulthood. We know nothing about them, except that there was an older brother and a younger brother, and that the older brother was a rule-follower and the younger brother was a rebel. So, based on that alone, we actually know a fair amount about this story. I’m guessing most of us could envision what it would be like to grow up with a rule-following older brother and a boundary-pushing younger brother. We can see the older brother being right but going about it the wrong way. We can see the young brother becoming more and more obstinate the more his parents and his brother push. And we can see it all coming to a head when, out of the blue, the younger brother demands his inheritance early.  

You’re the older brother, remember, and you are absolutely livid. And you aren’t sure what is worse, that he asked or that your father is seriously considering doing it! Can you hear the conversations? Be honest, can’t you feel a little bit of the righteous indignation?

“You can’t seriously be considering giving him his portion. It’s not his yet, it’s still yours!”

“You are under no obligation to give that arrogant, entitled child one cent before your death!”

“If he’s going to waste your wealth, at least make him work 40 years for it!”

 

Finally, the decision is made and the younger son receives his portion — 1/3 of the family’s wealth, since a double portion would fall to the oldest. As quickly as possible, the younger son begins liquidating assets. Family property, a sacred trust from God, was sold to whomever was able to come up with the money fast enough, and often at a fraction of what it would have been worth. Hot tears pour down the face of the older brother as he looks at the land that his father, his grandfather, and his great-great grandfather had given their lives to, now being pawned off like an old dish that no one wants anymore. The shame of embarrassment hangs like a cloud over your head when you walk through town. The whispers of friends and strangers, the quick glances, it’s almost unbearable. 

Within a few weeks, roughly a third of the family’s wealth had been converted to money and was on the younger brother’s person as he walks away, slowly vanishing into the horizon, heading off to somewhere far away where he could engage in all kinds of rampant wickedness without the peering eyes of family or friends. His parents wept. His brother seethed. He seethed thinking about the great waste. The great ingratitude. The great heartache. The great shame. His moronic brother had been a tornado of selfishness that had torn through the entire family, and now it was the older brother who was left behind to do what he could to help his parents put the pieces back together again. 

He thought about the wife he was soon to marry, and about the children he would one day have. The shame of what his brother had done would cling to them, too. It was a price the whole family would pay, everyone would feel that sting of this except for the person most responsible for it. I wonder if the older brother ever considered the possibility that his brother would return. I can’t help but think he would have almost hated the idea of his brother coming back as much as what his brother had done. 

And then life went on. The family worked hard, harder than before as they were now down a man. The shame didn’t go away, but the family learned to live with it. Long days were spent tilling, planting, reaping, and threshing. The older brother began thinking seriously and planning for when his parents would not be able to do much. He rejoiced at the birth of his son. He mourned when his second child was stillborn. Life went on, but there was a hole in the family. 

 

Then one day you, as the older brother, come home after a long, grueling day working in the fields. You’re exhausted, you’re hungry, and when you get back, you’re surprised that there is a large party going on. Not just any party, a quite expensive party. You’re surprised that mom and dad would spend that much on, what is this party for? Above all you are confused.  You rack your brain trying to think of what the occasion might be. Was today a feast day? No, it wasn’t. Was it a birthday or anniversary, or a wedding? Well, not for anyone in our family. What in the world is going on? And how come no one has come to tell you?

You find a servant with a silly grin running around doing some task and in an annoyed, slightly gruff tone ask what is going on. 

“Haven’t you heard? Your brother is home! Your father has killed the fatted calf, because your brother is home safe and sound.”

Your blood turns cold. The thought that your brother would return home seemed unlikely, but you had never in your wildest dreams imagined that your parents would throw a lavish party if he did. A hard look passes over your face. The servant tentatively asks if you will be coming in, and you simply sit down and glare at him, without saying a word. He nervously walks back in and goes up to your father to explain the situation. 

A few moments later your dad comes out. You’re tempted to say something like, “Oh, did you forget you had an older son?” But you’re too angry to say anything more than absolutely needs to be said. He begins with some nonsense about wanting you to come inside, and you can only take a few sentences of his talking before you finally boil over and speak your mind. 

“Look! I have served you for many, many years. I didn’t disobey anything you as my father told me to do. You never threw a party for me, so that I could have a good time with my close friends. But your son comes home after wasting your wealth on prostitutes, and you roll out the red carpet. I just don’t understand how you could do this.”

The father is silent for a moment. He looks off into the distance, mulling over what his son has said. Finally he speaks, softly but firmly. “Son,” he begins. “You have always been with me. Everything that is mine is yours. But, it was right that we would celebrate like this.” He paused and looked out over the fields, a tear welling in his eye. “Don’t you realize that your brother was as good as dead, and now he’s alive again? He was lost, and now he is found. Shouldn’t we celebrate that?” 

 

The story ends here. With these powerful questions intentionally left hanging in the air. And it leaves us with the further question, how did the older brother get here? And how might we make the same mistakes? If we’re honest, we all can have a little older brother in us if we’re not careful. As we wrap up this story, I want to make three observations about why the older brother found himself sulking instead of rejoicing when his brother went from death to life. 

 

The Older Brother Lacked Gratitude 

There’s a palpable irony to this story. The older brother essentially accuses the father of ingratitude. “How come I never got a party?” But that statement showed a lot more about the lack of gratitude on the part of the older brother rather than on the part of the father. The older brother did all the right things, but he expected to get what he thought was due to him. God promises to bless obedience, but we need to leave that blessing to Him in His time, rather than demand blessings when we think we deserve them. Sadly, we often do right, but rather than being thankful for the blessings that come our way, we expect them and become frustrated if there aren’t as many or if they aren’t as good as we think they should be. 

 

The Older Brother Was Selfish

The response of the older brother showed that in his heart, he didn’t care about his brother. Someone might try to argue that the older brother was merely concerned that this repentance would be short-lived, and that the father’s indulgence was premature and would lead to relapses down the road. But that obviously isn’t true. He doesn’t care about his brother, other than to throw cruel if true accusations his way. Notice there were no questions about his brother, “How is he doing? Has he apologized? What brought him back? Does he seem humble?” These would be the questions of someone with a true heart for others, not “How come I never got a party?” Sadly, if we aren’t careful we can become focused on doing the right things so that we get what we want. And then if someone gets something that we want, rather than rejoice with them we become angry and bitter. We can forget that the second greatest command is to love others in our selfish if outwardly godly pursuits. 

 

The Older Brother Was Proud

If we could boil his response down, the older brother essentially said, “I deserve a party, and this guy doesn’t!” If we were to boil it down further, we would get, “I’m better than him!” Behind all the outward obedience, the faithfulness, and the obedience of the older brother, there was a sickly poison of pride. If our outward obedience is being fueled by the belief that we are better than others, who we really are will be put on full display when we see God’s grace and are bothered by it. When we realize we are all broken people who have been forgiven, it’s a whole lot easier to be happy about another broken sinner finding mercy. 

 

We all like to think we’re the hero. In this story, we all want to be the father, and God wants us to be the father. But that will mean recognizing the inner older brother when he raises his head and doing everything we can to kill him. We do that by being grateful, realizing that we’ve been given more than we deserve, not less. We do that by being selfless, realizing that God has called us to sacrificially love others more than self. And we do that by being humble, realizing that we’re “only a sinner, saved by grace.” And if we can do all that, maybe with God’s grace and the help of God’s Spirit we can have God’s heart for the lost and the hurting around us.