Dealing with Conflict While Shepherding the Flock (Part 3 of 3)
For the first and second parts of this three-part series, click here and here.
In our last two posts, we considered the sources of conflict and two kinds of conflict that we might face and how to respond. In this post, we will consider two more kinds of conflict and what our response should be, as well as how to have a right heart in the midst of conflict.
#3: Conflict with Fellow Pastors over Non-Doctrinal Issues
Many conflicts that arise between pastors are issues of conflict because of personality differences or sin. As pastors we are not immune from pettiness, jealousies, and passing unfair judgments. How should we handle such disagreements?
The Bible gives us principles for dealing with conflicts with other believers (Matt 5:23–24). We need to be sure that we do not let conflicts with our brothers linger or fester. When they are left unresolved, they often become bitter conflicts that impact more than those involved (Heb 12:15). This is especially true if the conflict is with pastors within the same church. Our personal considerations need to be set aside for the spiritual health of people.
Also take note of the disagreement between Paul and Barnabas. They disagreed over a judgment issue regarding John Mark (Acts 15:36–41). This even caused them to go separate ways (probably for the good of the spread of the gospel). However, there is no indication that they went around maligning one another. We can choose separate ways for differences of opinion without labeling another brother as an apostate, false teacher, or a dangerous leader.
#4: Conflict with Deacons or Church Members
The Bible clearly teaches that the pastors of the church are to direct the church and exercise the teaching authority of the church (1 Tim 5:17). Biblical church governance and the roles of pastors, deacons, and congregation are not widely understood in our churches. Many churches simply operate on a corporate model; some operate with a lay tribal leader directing things. These kinds of structures can lead to conflict between the pastor and the congregation. These conflicts need to be handled with care. We must remember that we will answer for the souls of our people. It is not primarily about winning a political fight; it is about the health of souls (Heb 13:17).
I have had several of these kinds of conflict in ministry. Sometimes they are over doctrinal disputes. We need to kindly teach the truth. There is no need to back down from the truth, but we must speak it in love (Eph 4:15). Some of these conflicts are due to difference of opinion that get blown out of proportion. We must not ignore small disagreements and relational struggles. They can become big. By not following the Bible’s teaching about anger and reconciliation we allow sin to grow (Matt 5:23–24; Eph 4:26). One of the hardest areas for us as pastors to deal with is conflict due to our own sin. These cases call on us to humble ourselves and be models of repentance for our people (1 Pet 3:8). Pastors who refuse to admit they have sinned teach their people that it is best to cover sin than to repent.
The Right Heart in the Midst of Conflict
Each one of us is going to face conflict in ministry. Ultimately, what is most important is not whether we prevail in the conflict; what is most important is how we respond to the conflict. Our response impacts our souls and the souls of those to whom we minister. We must always respond with humility (Jas 4:6). We must also remember that we need to be gracious in our speech in in the midst of the hardest conflicts (Col 4:6). Finally, consider the example of Christ; he faced many unjust and unfair conflicts. We are called to follow his example (1 Peter 2:23). We should not think it strange that conflicts come our way if we follow our Lord (Matt 10:24–25). We should not come to false conclusions that God is punishing us, or that a fellow minister who has fewer conflicts has more of God’s blessing. We should focus on the response of our own hearts, and our impact on others.
We are going to face conflict in ministry. The conflicts we face are often attacks of Satan, or the outworking of sinfulness. However, regardless of the conflicts, we are called to be like Christ in the midst of them. We must remember that in the midst of conflicts, even through them, God is working his plan for the sanctification of our souls and those of our people.
This post is adapted from the sermon notes of TJ Klapperich at the 2014 Conference on the Church for God’s Glory. Click here if you would like to listen to the audio of this sermon or read the notes in full.
T. J. Klapperich is the pastor of Calvary Baptist Church in Winter Garden, FL, where he has served since 2006.