Men Teaching Men to be Men

We are enduring a masculinity crisis in our country. For many years men have been feminized by political forces and even in churches by a misunderstanding of what biblical manhood really is.

On one side is the “men need to be more like women” movement, which is accompanied by the “all men are evil” corollary. It is a political movement that wants all people (outside a very few) to apologize for their existence. They tell boys that they need to be ashamed of their gender.

Now we are seeing a backlash on all levels. Social media platforms have exploded—especially in the last 18 months–with “male exertion” content. The “alpha male/beta male” designations along with “red pill/blue pill” terminologies are almost ubiquitous. The Joe Rogan and Rich Cooper (there are also quite a few black men producing this type of content) followers are the fastest-growing segment on social media as men start to take back ground in their own uniquely male way. It is not emotion-filled. It is strong, logical (in an evolutionary sort of way), often cold-blooded, and yet tends to be very self-focused (read selfish).

As wrong as the feminization of men has been, so is the godless selfish masculinity that is now being pedaled. It is characterized by unashamed promiscuity, love of money, power-mongering, and anti-marriage attitudes that are clearly unbiblical. It is essential that Christian young men not be pulled into this world of muscular egocentrism.  There is a better, biblical way.

The greatest biblical example of masculinity is found in Jesus Christ Himself.

I speak of the biblical portrayal of Christ, not the feminized long-haired, narrow-shouldered, Jesus-portraits of the middle ages. Jesus did not sport a superhero physique, but he was not slight and effeminate either. He was a typical man of his day. Jesus grew up as a carpenter working with Joseph building things. He certainly had the calloused hands of a laborer and the physical strength that came by years of using His body as the main tool for His trade.

Being a man is more than physical characteristics. Jesus was a leader and an innovator. He spoke out against the sin and injustice of His day. He was not a womanizer or woman chaser. He was righteous, holy, and self-controlled. He fasted for 40 days in the wilderness, purposefully enduring pain and discomfort as an example to others. His powerful voice commanded the attention of large crowds of 4000-5000 and preached to groups that large without the benefit of electronic amplification. He spoke with an authority greater than any of the leaders of His day (Mark 1:22). He demonstrated the true essence of masculine love, which is not expressed in simpering sentimentality but in deliberate self-sacrifice for the good of others. The ultimate expression of this masculine love was His willingness to hang on the cross and die, though He could have come down from it at any moment and commanded the armies of heaven to destroy His oppressors.

Jesus was a man that other men followed. He commanded their attention and loyalty. This was certainly an expression of His deity, but also an expression of His understanding of purpose and truth.

We must be men like Christ.

We must follow Him in action and attitude. There is a way to be submitted to Him while also being the unapologetic leaders He has called us to be. Paul says that older men within the church body must not only be, but teach younger men to be leaders of men, and he describes what that leadership looks like.

But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience. . . (Titus 2:1-2)

Biblical masculinity is serious.

Sober-mindedness is a willingness to take on the seriousness of adulthood. There is no biblical merit in being overgrown children. Men must learn to put away childishness and the frivolity of youth and get on with the seriousness and importance of living a life for Jesus Christ and for the benefit of others.

Biblical masculinity is dignified.

That is the idea of what is being communicated here. It is not just reverent in respect and attitude toward God, it is also reverent in respect to its attitude toward self. Biblical masculinity demonstrates appropriate self-respect. After all, we are sons of God. We are called to lives of service. We see ourselves as important and our roles as valuable before God. Because of that, we must treat our bodies with respect. We need to dress with self-respect, walk with self-respect, speak with self-respect. This is not arrogance. We do not look down on others or treat others like they are beneath us. We just see ourselves as the objects of God’s love and called by Him do to something very important with our lives.

Biblical masculinity is self-controlled.

The comic book idea of masculinity is when Dr. Banner finally “Hulk’s out” and goes on a rampage. Biblical masculinity is self-disciplined. We learn to force ourselves to do sometimes unpleasant or even painful things for the sake of a greater and more important goal. We must keep our cool when everyone else around us is going crazy with fear or anger. We do not give in to our appetites like those who are weak and undisciplined. The Apostle Paul explains why.

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate [self-controlled] in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore, I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus, I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified (1 Corinthians 6:24-27).

Biblical masculinity is healthy in the faith.

Sound means healthy. Christian men must not only be able to articulate what they believe they must also live it consistently and without apology in their lives. This requires learning, understanding, and commitment. Learning, loving, defending, and living the word is an essential aspect of biblical masculinity.

Biblical masculinity is loving.

The word here is agape, not phileo. This is not the man of the romance novels and chick flicks—the man who fawns over and is tamed because the woman of his dreams makes him weak in the knees. It is not the Jane Austin “please end my suffering and consent to be my wife” type of feeling love. I know this is what many women think they want and there is nothing wrong with being romantic with the wife of your youth. Solomon’s Song clearly commends this aspect of married love. But agape love is deliberate, committed, and self-sacrificing. The Christian man will give up his rights, privileges, comforts, and more for the good of another. A Christian man does this because it is the heart of the glorious purpose of his calling in Jesus Christ.

Biblical masculinity is patient.

Impatience is not a Christian virtue. This patience is in pursuit of the greater good—the greater goal. This must be a characteristic of Christian fathers. The impatient father, who simply escalates punishments in dealing with a rebellious child, will eventually become a child abuser. One of the characteristics of masculine adulthood is the willingness to be patient. Patience does not mean putting up with guff forever, it does mean “I can last longer than you can” and “what is right is right, and I will not surrender what is right just because you are throwing a fit.” Some might call it stubbornness but it is not selfish stubbornness but a godly stubbornness in the pursuit of godly biblical ideals.

There is much more that the Bible has to say about true, biblical masculinity. I can write about this in a blog from here to eternity, but the younger men will not learn how to live this way from a blog post. It will become part of them as they watch you live it and hear you explain it as you live like a man for Jesus Christ.

 

Image by Phillip Neho from Pixabay