To Forgive is Divine, Failure to Forgive is …
Robert Louis Stevenson wrote a series of short essays about Edinburgh, Scotland. In his Picturesque Notes of Edinburgh, he tells the story of two unmarried sisters who shared a single room. As is often the case when people share close quarters, they had an argument. But in their case the argument was over a point of theology – Christian doctrine – Stevenson does not say what it was. But the disagreement was so sharp that these two sisters never spoke to one another again! However, they continued to live together in that small room, either because neither could afford to move out, or perhaps for fear of scandal and being talk of the town. They drew a chalk line that went to the center of both the door and fireplace so that each could go in and out and cook without stepping into the others’ territory. For years they coexisted in hateful silence. Their meals, their baths, their family visitors continued, daily exposed to the other’s unfriendly silence. At night each could hear the breathing of her enemy. These two sisters continued that way the rest of their miserable lives.
Now notice, the initial argument was about theology, so it appears these women were church-goers. So how many times did they sit in church and “say” the Disciples’ Prayer, which contains this: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”? (Matthew 6:12). They never truly prayed those words, for had they seriously prayed them, it would have moved them to reconciliation.
Matthew 6:12 is one of six petitions in the Disciples’ Prayer (I call it “Disciples’ Prayer” rather than “Lord’s Prayer” because it is not a prayer the Lord could ever pray, since He never had need of forgiveness), but is of such importance that it is the only one Jesus elaborated on at the end: If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15). Author Daniel Doriani says of this:
Jesus’s point is that God forgives the penitent. That is, if we understand how precious it is to be forgiven, if we know how much it cost God to forgive, then we will forgive others. The forgiven have motives to forgive. We thank God for His gift, we admire the beauty of his way, and we hope to do the same for others.
And John Stott has said:
Once our eyes have been opened to see the enormity of our offense against God, the injuries which others have done to us appear by comparison extremely trifling. If on the other hand, we have an exaggerated view of the offenses of others, it proves we have minimized our own.
We are Forgiving Because our Father is Forgiving
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32). The very next verse after this command to forgive says: Be imitators of God (Ephesians 5:1 NASB). The word translated ‘imitators’ is the word from which we get ‘mimic.” God says “You are to mimic my actions in your actions. If you are really part of My family then there needs to be a family resemblance. How do we show that resemblance? By being kind, compassionate, and forgiving each other.
We are Forgiving Because We Have Been Forgiven
It is not accidental that ‘Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one’ is sandwiched between a request for forgiveness in the Disciples’ Prayer (v. 12) and Jesus’s explanation of the importance of forgiveness (vv. 14-15). “To err is human, to forgive is divine” and refusal to forgive is demonic!
The more we recognize our own vulnerability to sin, the more forgiving we are (Matthew 18:22-35). If we cannot forgive others the relatively small sins they commit against us, it can only be because we have failed to receive forgiveness for the infinite debt we owed to God. Conversely, if we understand the enormous debt of sin that God in Christ has canceled for us, we will understand that the wrongs we suffer are miniscule in comparison, and we will readily forgive.
We are Continually Forgiving Because We are Sinful
The necessity of Christians being forgiving people led to one of John Wesley’s famous statements. Wesley was serving as a missionary to the Colonies and was having a difficult time with General James Oglethorpe who, in 1732 was commissioned by the British Parliament to establish a colony in America, which he did, calling it Georgia, after King George. Evangelist Wesley sought to persuade Oglethorpe of his need for the Gospel, but found him to have an especially proud and stubborn nature. In a particularly prideful moment Oglethorpe said, “I never forgive.” To which Wesley replied, “Then I hope, sir, you never sin.” Since we are continually sinful, we should be continually forgiving.
We are Faithfully Forgiving Because We are Truthful
Most of the misconceptions about forgiveness arise because we equate it with a feeling. Forgiveness is not about feeling forgiving or even liking the one you forgive. Rather, we forgive because we are people of the are people of the Word, the Word of Truth, which commands it. In forgiving we make a promise not to allow the offense to remain an obstacle to our relationship.
By making and keeping this promise, you can tear down the walls that stand between you and your offender. You promise not to dwell on or brood over the problem or to punish by holding the person at a distance. You clear the way for your relationship to develop unhindered by memories of past wrongs. This is exactly what God does for us, and it is what he calls us to do for others. (Peacemaker Ministries)
Ken Brown is the pastor of Community Bible Church in Trenton, MI. We republish his article by permission.
Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash