Happily Ever After – a daughter’s tribute to Brenda Vaughn and more
Preface to No Greater Love by Becky Vaughn
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)
Her name was Brenda Joyce. My grandmother was unsaved when my mom was born. She named her daughter after her favorite actress from a popular television show. After the house fire that left Mom and me with lifelong injuries, she learned the real meaning of her name. Brenda comes from the word brand as in firebrand. Later, when Mom spoke to women’s groups, she would tell them what her first name meant to her—“something made useful when heated by fire.” Joyce comes from the word joy. I heard her say countless times that her name meant “joy comes after the fire.” She was filled with zeal for life, for her lifelong love—Dad—and for her family, her friends, and the Lord.
Mom wanted to write a book about her life and call it Happily Ever After. She wanted to tell the story of how as a young girl her vision for the future was a fairy-tale love story with a happily-ever-after ending, but instead how the Lord showed her the true meaning and value of eternal joy. My favorite fairy tale has always been Cinderella. I like it because Cinderella suffered, yet she kept her sweetness and graciousness. In the end, her dreams came true. Like Cinderella, Mom faced great trials, but also like the character of Cinderella, Mom now is truly living “happily ever after.” Although Mom found her Prince Charming, humanly speaking, her life was no fairy tale. Hers was a story of great suffering punctuated by God’s grace, her sweetness, and lots of laughter.
Much of her story was told in my parents’ book, More Precious Than Gold. Part One of this book necessarily provides a review and amplification of things written there. My primary goal in sharing my story now is to honor Mom by sharing more of her story. Of course, her story is really the Lord’s story.
Dad has been a preacher for over forty years. He is never at a loss for words, ever; but he did not speak at Mom’s funeral. That day, he wanted others to speak to him and to each other. My sister Debbie, who looks just like Mom, spoke powerfully from her own perspective as a daughter, a mother, and a pastor’s wife. My brother Joe spoke as a son and pastor. I spoke as Mom’s daughter and partner in suffering. She and I were uniquely joined in our mutual pain and the life lessons poured out on us in a way most mothers and daughters might experience differently, but not as intensely. I spoke of the love described in John 15:13—the love that is greater than any other, the love that lays down its life for another. My story is also the story of a mother’s love for her daughter—the story of a mother whose character was shaped in the crucible of suffering long before the flames flared up around us. It was into those flames she raced with no thought for her own safety, compelled by her undying love for me. My goal here is to tell you about that love, and how God has been teaching me to appreciate it fully, as the love that reflects the love of Christ. Truly, there is no greater love.
This story is not exactly the one I hoped to tell—the fun parts are—but it is the story that the Lord chose to send. Just as Mom and Dad in their account in More Precious Than Gold shared how they learned lessons, I have my personal lessons to share. They are not about the trials of my early childhood suffering, which I mercifully do not remember at all. They are not even lessons about the trials of the consequences I experience every day. My story is the story of trials common to all young women. Like Mom, I have been privileged to have life’s lessons made so clear and so public that I also have a God-given responsibility as well as a desire to comfort and encourage others. God comforts us all in our tribulation so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:4).
To purchase Becky’s book, please go to: http://store.johncvaughn.com/